im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize