real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize