She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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