she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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