theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
