Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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