Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize