Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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