You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the day after is always just damage control
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize