They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
