i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
