I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
