I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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