I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
