i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She bit a glass in half.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
