How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
