If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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