so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
