things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
