I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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