one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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