I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
