This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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