Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
