I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
