We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
