I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I could fuck to npr.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
