I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
