You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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