Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize