I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Who died my cat blue again?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
