i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
