I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
