I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
