Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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