Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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