I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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