if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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