It's like a parade of train wrecks.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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