Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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