Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize