I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Can Purell be used as lube?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
