she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
