Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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