I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
