the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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