There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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