come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
