My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
