jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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