You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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