grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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