spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize