I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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