wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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