D3 body, D1 cock
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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