the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
did you just send me my own nude
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
