like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
