i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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