Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
