i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
