remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
