here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
