office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
