Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
