So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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