I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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