I smell stomach acid.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
