We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
