a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
