You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
