We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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