she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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