put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
