i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
