i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
