Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
