Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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