I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
bring money and cleavage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
