Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Girls should come with a carfax report
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
