I don't think brook has ever known best
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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